This application contains triggering content of suicide, self-harm, intimate partner violence, and other distressing sexual elements.

PLAYER INFORMATION
Name: Vee
Timezone: CST
Personal Journal: blizzardseason
Player Contact: blizzardseason prefer PMs for mod business
Characters in Game (previously too): Yulo | anance

CHARACTER INFORMATION
Name: Jackie Bledsoe-Follet
Canon: Original Character
Gender: Cis Female
Age: 28
Suitability: Adult.
Species: Human
Canon Point:
World/Setting: Jackie is from the real world for the most part, but she has been a part of the RP world for a very long time and her story has criss-crossed with verses that involve magic. It's still a hidden world to Jackie though, though she's aware it exists.
History:

Adrienne Henderson was born the daughter of Elizabeth and Henry in southern Kentucky. Adrienne was a lonely, nervous sort of girl raised by emotionally distant parents, she spent most of her childhood roaming the dirt alleys of their rundown rural neighborhood by herself. The girl had a constant fear of being judged and of disappointing those around her, she didn't talk much. Her closest companion was her dog, Kida. When she was eight years old she met Jude Andrews, an older boy who stubbed a cigarette out on her forehead and then convinced her to go steal him some more. Adrienne followed Jude faithfully from then on and they forged their own sort of friendship.

With Jude's support, Adrienne joined the school track and field team, and in turn Adrienne supported her friend's dreams of becoming a rockstar. Spinelessly worshipful of Jude, Adrienne didn't say no when Jude's fascination with sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll turned lascivious towards her. She indulged her friend's experimentation. More than indulged, really: Jude was her first love. She was at Jude's side at all times, from gigs to parties, although Adrienne never did develop Jude's taste for drinking and recreational drugs.

Adrienne had just turned eighteen when she accompanied Jude to the next town for a big show. She kept her mouth shut at the big after-party when Jude's excess of cocaine and alcohol seemed to be getting out of hand, but she protested when Jude's sexual exhibitionism turned towards her. Adrienne had no desire to have sex in front of all these people.

Jude ignored her refusal. It was no secret that they were together, and the drunken on-lookers didn't take it for what it was and no one intervened. When she could, Adrienne left Jude amongst all the other sleeping drunks and fled home where she gathered up a few clothes and headed for the bus station. Her father followed him there, sat while his daughter cried herself out on his shoulder and gave her some money, but Adrienne never told him what had happened, just left.

Somewhere on that bus trip, the hurt caught up with her and that was where Jackie came in. She cut off her long blonde hair and dyed it dark. She turned cold and angry with an insistent bitchy streak. Over the six years since the personality snap, she developed insomnia, a possible eating disorder, and a taste for abusive relationships, which easily made her growing misandry and self-disgust into a burgeoning self-fulfilling prophecy.

With the money her father had given her, Jackie enrolled in a technical college, found student work to do, and lived out of shelters until she met Robert Follet at her school. He found her pain to very visible and was interested in trying to fix her. He pursued her and eventually proposed to her, promising her a better life. With no other prospects in front of her, Jackie accepted, but their relationship did not progress the way Robert intended. His new wife remained as bitter and self-destructive as she had always been, and the more he tried to become close with her, the more she seemed to disdain him. Still, his messiah complex would not allow him to give up on her.

As Robert finished school and embarked on his new business career path, he was called on to travel on a regular basis. Jackie found his absence both a blessing and a curse. She did not miss his attempts to fix her, but neither did she like being left with her own thoughts in their empty house. She resumed her bent for dangerous affairs.

She didn't see anyone from her former life until her mother died and she was forced to face Jude again at her funeral service. The conversation they had resulted in violence, sex, but old habits died hard and Jackie ended up going back to Jude's new home in New Mexico. Jackie stayed a few weeks and made sure to leave as much ruin in her wake as possible before flying back to her husband.

Jude, however, was shocked and dismayed by just how much destruction Jackie had left behind. After years of willful ignorance, he became distinctly aware that Jackie was unwell. With his own life in shambles, Jude had nothing holding him back from following Jackie back to Cincinnati under the pretense of making things right with her. This sentiment offended Jackie deeply. She didn't owe that bastard any forgiveness. Jude lived out of his car and did thoroughly stalk Jackie for quite some time, observing her.

What he observed was mostly a miserable woman in another poisonous relationship with a man who tried to manipulate her emotions under the pretense of 'fixing' her. Jude saw her go out for her affairs, saw her heading home with her bruises, and he saw it when she met Dominique, an immigrant woman that Jackie encountered one day. Jackie found the foreign woman to be interesting, but treated her as poorly as she treated everyone, insulting her. They came across one another fairly regularly, as Jackie was prone to wandering the city in her husband's absence and Dominique was searching for something of her own. The spark between them was fairly obvious, though Jackie ignored it, or tried to until Dominique kissed her.

Jackie had never considered herself a lesbian at any point, but she allowed Dominique to pursue her, hoping that the older woman would give up and leave her alone fairly quickly. That wasn't what happened at all. Currently, Dominique comes to stay at the house for a week or so every time Robert Follet leaves on business. Dominique has punched Jude Andrews in the face at least once for harassing Jackie.

Personality:

"Despair is a narcotic. It lulls the mind into indifference."
— Charlie Chaplin

☹ Adrienne. The Jackie persona is such a split from the meek personality Adrienne wore as a child, it is 'best' compared to a case of DID, though there is an amount of 'artistic' license with the specifics. DID is not a perfect fit, because there is a certain amount of intent and deliberateness to the split, to a delusional extent. Jackie is methodical to maintain that she is different from Adrienne, to the point of being in denial that she ever was that person. Jackie has been known to indulge in visualizations of harming Adrienne and locking her in a box in order to keep her silent. In Jackie, there is an understanding that while Adrienne is Jackie, Jackie is not Adrienne. Adrienne became Jackie, but Jackie is what she is in order to escape every possible connection to Adrienne. There is an Adrienne underneath, she is essentially all the mourning/broken heartedness that Jackie does not allow herself to feel via all her hate and bitterness.

This probably sounds somewhat irrational. Jackie is not a fully rational woman, don't ever let her fool you otherwise.

☹ Depression and control/power issues. Jackie is a miserable, desperate person. Jackie hates everyone she meets, on principle, is emotionally cold and deceptive. Her greatest defining trait is the simple fact that she despises herself. She never sought any guidance or counseling after the incident with Jude, and while a different spirit may have overcome the adversity, Adrienne turned inward with disgust and anxiety. The Jackie persona is a mental fissure, is unhealthy escapism to the extreme. Any time Jackie feels like her grip on the controls of the broken consciousness are threatened, she reacts by putting herself through self-harm, both physical and emotional. She is well known for going out and goading men into hitting her, and certainly has some extreme sexual proclivities. She uses the violence of her sex life as continued vindication for her bitterness and hatred, while lying to herself that she finds the experiences overall empowering: Jackie does not break under them the way Adrienne had, Jackie has learned the lesson.

☹ Trust issues. Jackie is a liar and a hypocrite, and will not shy from admitting to either. Considering that the entire persona of Jackie is both a lie and a hypocrisy, that is not overall very surprising. Despite all her bravado to the contrary, Jackie is very protective of herself and her secrets. To truly 'share' anything with anyone requires a level of trust that Jackie does not actually foster with anyone. However, she has a tendency for flippancy and nonchalance which sees kernels of truth left throughout her conversations, but when mixed with all the lies they are difficult to spot, and really only lend verisimilitude to her deceptions. It is this same sort of flippancy that makes Jackie very good at giving advice. She has a very sharp mind and can generally see the inherent problem in the situations of others because she looks straight past bullshit to the heart of an issue. Being the hypocrite she is, her keen discerning powers clearly do not turn towards herself, though it is not true to say she is unaware of her problems.

Deeply private, deeply self-hating, and constantly blaming Adrienne's spinelessness for the incident (aka, blaming herself): Jackie has never told anyone about what Jude did to her, and never considered pressing charges against him. And it won't come up, ever. She would outright lie, and easily, before she ever admitted it. She has not told Dominique or her husband, though the former understands that whatever happened Jude is a poisonous thing in Jackie's life.

☹ Suicide and hate. Jackie has a grim outlook on life, and expects to be dead within the next one to five years, and certainly has no intentions of planning for her retirement or old age. She already has one failed suicide attempt under her belt (it failed because the Black Dog didn't want to give her the satisfaction.) Because of this fatalistic outlook, she really puts no effort into finding any sort of peace for her heart. She wants to keep her anger until she's dead, and she wants her death to haunt Jude's conscience for the rest of his miserable life. Jackie actively fears that if she stops hating Jude, she will become Adrienne again. (Irrational!)

☹ Insecurity and self-hate. Underneath all of these things, as is generally the way with viciously bitter people, Jackie is incredibly anxious and insecure. When anyone is persistent enough to try to win her friendship, Jackie's internal balance shifts from attacking the other to attacking herself. Her head is full of reminders of what kind of person she is, how broken and unfit she is to be anyone's company at any point. She planned Jackie to be a horrible person, something that would reflect her own self-disgust and would keep anyone from peering inward, or ever getting close to her heart again. To have this very carefully planned veneer looked past is deeply unsettling to Jackie. She is a broken record when it comes to reminding those few people that there are better ways they could spend their time, and will come armed with a list of such activities.

☹ Intimacy/power issues. Those who are persistent in trying to know Jackie are put through a number 'tests'. To call them a test is not entirely correct, because there is no way to pass them and there is no way to complete them. These 'tests' are mostly just Jackie being Jackie: flinging insult and cruelty, lies and hypocrisies, to see how quickly she can drive the other off. She will start petty arguments in the hopes of inciting the other to anger, she will play passive-aggressive games to hurt the other, and she will insult them mercilessly in every possible way, looking for some kind of retaliation. She uses the retaliation she incites as proof that she can't trust anyone.(Irrational!)

Unfortunately, Jackie is also very prone to falling in love with those who are persistent and kind with her, not that it happens a lot. The devotion is actually very touching to her but she recognizes that no one can promise to support her forever, and she could never ask for such a thing. Not only does the idea offend her idea of her own strength, she recognizes it to be an unreasonable request coming from someone who repays kindness with insult. Falling in love is a horrible ordeal to Jackie. She does not expect everyone she falls for to become Jude (though in her very very twisted subconscious sense of expectation: she wishes they would because that is a relationship she understands and has clear, angry, feelings for) but she does expect everyone who gets close to her to become tired of dealing with her. Despite being quick-witted enough to keep up conversations, Jackie is truly very introverted and change takes her a long time to deal with. A solid emotional or sexual relationship takes a lot of consistent repetition before she can even begin the process of accepting it.

When attached to someone, Jackie is plagued by a possessiveness and neediness that, frankly, embarrasses her and she puts all her will into not acting on a single one of her impulses. She obsesses over being stronger than impulse, and denial of impulse itself is one of her self-destructive behaviors. Who it is meant to punish is not entirely clear as it denies both herself and the recipient of any affection that might have come from the action. She has a subconscious desire to be saved from herself, and hates herself desperately for that weakness. (Irrational!)

☹ Control issues cont'd. Jackie is a control freak, it demonstrates itself most clearly in her very personality, which she uses to constantly assure herself that she is not acting like Adrienne. Her control issues also extends to other areas of her life, as the rigidity helps her to feel secure. She is very thorough in both cleaning and organizing, her home is very sparsely laid out (perhaps to avoid displaying too much personality, perhaps to avoid clutter). Her issues with food are a bit more OCD and irrational, but also feed her needs for control. When she is feeling very hateful towards herself, she will deny himself food in order to prove she doesn't need it. She will pretend to eat, in front of others, and has no compunction about hiding food in her napkin if she needs to keep up appearances. Even when she is given to eating, she has some strange habits. She is a person who will only eat one thing at a time, she will pick the toppings off of food, and when able to, such as with pizza, she will fold things into a smaller size. Her habits with food generally depend on the item itself. (Irrational!)

☹ Health. All of what has been described is aggravated by her insomnia. Jackie has medical insomnia as opposed to an emotional co-morbidity, though her emotional issues don't help, and it developed at the tail end of puberty for her. Lack of restful sleep is detrimental to anyone's health, both physical and mental, and combining in her issues with food and her depression, Jackie is overall very unhealthy in every sense. Jackie has been known to abuse the sleeping pills prescribed to her, either recreational, or by spending an entire weekend (or more) unconscious. Sometimes her control freak tendencies flare, however, and she feels that she is no longer in control of the pills and will flush them and wait out the inevitable opiate withdrawal.

☹ Dominique. At her pull point, Jackie has been in a 'relationship' with Dominique de Tisi for several years. The changes this has brought Jackie are difficult to describe because they are subtle and dependent on understand Dom in kind. Jackie is still an enormous bitch to everyone, Dominique included, but if an outsider were to see the two of them together, they would notice that Dominique smiles often and Jackie is noticeably less severe while in her company. Dominique's own personality is very guarded and quiet, and this control makes Jackie feel more at ease in her own issues. Not having to deal with someone else's emotional turmoil in addition to her own, is a great blessing.

Jackie is in a transitional period between coming to trust and rely on Dominique as her companion in life, as well as fighting this change because she feels like trust is a weakness and really couldn't stand to be betrayed again. Dominique continues to work patiently on earning that trust. However, Jackie's attitudes towards life (aka living it) are more 'optimistic' in that she has been less suicidally inclined as she has fallen in love with Dominique. Although, she remains convinced that Dominique will one day leave her (for the record: she doesn't,) and predicts ending her life shortly thereafter.

Jackie does eventually make the decision to leave her husband in order to live with Dominique, which is a very large step for her. This is a step that she runs away from in the AU, which I thought might be more appropriate considering social attitudes of the time.

Abilities/Weaknesses: No powers, she's a normal human.
RP Samples:

Sample 1. Jackie's tag on the Log Comm of Queen of Hearts @ LJ
http://queenoflogs.livejournal.com/tag/jackie%20bledsoe-follet
also Main Comm tag
http://queenofheartsrp.livejournal.com/tag/jackie%20bledsoe-follet

Sample 2.